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I don’t know about you, but there are nights when I crawl into bed, exhausted—body aching, eyes heavy—and still, sleep doesn’t come easy.
And it’s not just me.
So many of us are walking around tired. We’re wired but tired, and it’s become the new normal. We wake up groggy, struggle through the day with coffee or energy drinks, then lie awake again at night wondering, Why can’t I just sleep?
Let’s talk about it—heart to heart—because if you’re tired of being tired, this might be the conversation you’ve been needing.
Before we go into science or tips or strategies, I want to name the real stuff—the things we’re often too busy or too polite to say out loud.
For many of us, rest feels unsafe.
I don’t mean physically unsafe, although that can be true for some. I mean emotionally. Spiritually. Resting feels like letting our guard down—and we’ve been in survival mode for so long, we don’t even know how to do that anymore.
Maybe you’ve been:
And so when your head finally hits the pillow, your brain says, Oh good, we’re alone now—let me remind you of everything you didn’t do today.
Sound familiar?
Sleep isn’t just about being tired. It’s about whether or not your nervous system believes you’re allowed to stop.
Now let’s get into the science behind why sleep can feel like a battle.
Your body has something called a circadian rhythm, which is like an internal clock that tells you when to wake up and when to sleep. This rhythm is largely regulated by light, especially sunlight. But what happens when we spend all day indoors, stare at screens all evening, and keep our phones by our beds?
That internal clock? It gets confused.
Here are a few reasons scientists say we struggle with sleep:
According to the CDC, 1 in 3 adults doesn’t get enough sleep. And poor sleep is linked to heart disease, obesity, depression, and even cognitive decline.
But here’s what really got me: sleep issues are often symptoms, not the root cause.
So what’s really underneath the tossing and turning?
One of the most exhausting parts of being human is the constant noise—not just outside of us, but inside of us too.
The inner dialogue.
The mental to-do lists.
The replays of conversations that didn’t go well.
The fear that if we stop moving, stop doing, stop trying…everything might fall apart.
This is something I’ve had to unlearn. I used to think sleep was something I could earn after being productive enough. But now I’m learning that rest is a right—not a reward.
Still, that doesn’t make it easy.
Here are a few common thought patterns that keep us awake:
It’s no wonder sleep avoids us. Our thoughts are too loud. Our hearts are too heavy. And our nervous systems don’t know how to exhale.
Here’s something I wish more people would say out loud:
You can’t cry yourself to sleep if you won’t let yourself cry at all.
So many of us are carrying around grief, disappointment, fear, or unspoken pain—and we think we can just leave all that at the bedroom door.
But the body remembers.
The body doesn’t clock out just because it’s bedtime.
And when we’ve spent all day holding it together, our body often waits until we’re alone and quiet to finally say, Can I feel this now?
That’s when the memories come rushing in. That’s when we start to feel the weight of everything we’ve been suppressing. And suddenly, sleep is no longer a matter of closing your eyes—it’s about being willing to feel.
Rest and emotional healing go hand in hand. If you’ve been trying everything—melatonin, meditation, sleep podcasts—but still can’t find rest, maybe it’s not about your routine… maybe it’s about what your soul needs to release.
Okay, friend. Let’s talk about what actually helps—not the quick fixes or trends, but the deeper healing steps.
Here are a few things I’ve seen make a real difference:
It’s not enough to dim the lights and brush your teeth. Your nervous system needs to feel safe. That might look like:
If fear or anxiety shows up at bedtime, try this:
Sometimes we don’t need advice—we just need permission. Cry if you need to. Write it out. Sit with God in the quiet and let yourself feel.
Your sleep starts during the day. Try to:
It’s the small choices that send your body the message: You’re safe now. You can rest.
There’s a reason God said, “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)
Sleep isn’t just a biological process. It’s a spiritual one.
It’s trusting that while we sleep, God still moves.
It’s surrendering what we can’t control.
It’s saying, “I don’t have to hold the world together tonight, because I know who does.”
When sleep won’t come, maybe what our soul really needs is not more striving, but more surrender. More stillness. More God.
Because true rest comes from knowing we’re held, even when our eyes are closed.
If any of this resonated with you—if your heart whispered “yes” while you were reading—then maybe this is your moment to make a gentle shift.
You don’t have to figure this all out on your own.
💜 You can join The Purple Room, where you’ll feel seen, heard, and valued while connecting with others who are on a similar journey. It’s a safe space for the heart, and you’re more than welcome there.
Whenever you’re ready, rest is waiting for you.
And so is healing.
You don’t have to stay tired forever.💜
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